Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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