In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
