It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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