are you still at the devil's house?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
