He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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