Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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