Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
