I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
