Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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