I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
