I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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