Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
