google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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