I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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