My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
