I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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