Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize