do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
