So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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