plz talk dirty to me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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