dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
