I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
