you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
