there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize