We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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