Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize