4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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