Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
