Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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