ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
