I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
