You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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