kristin has been a bad kristin
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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