The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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