great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
