So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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