It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
