The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
