I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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