He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
