bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
