I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
