We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
