He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
