just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
