Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
