For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize