we have pet lesbian snakes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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