Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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