Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
