Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
