I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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