i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
