Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
