my mouth tastes like poor choices
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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