His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize