ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
