Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
