is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
